Blood (Hidden Bonus Track)
Gallons of the stuff
“All the time. I'm grateful all the fuckin’ time.”
-Olivia Rodrigo
“Could go to hell, but we'll prolly be fine”
-Chappell Roan
It has now been over four years since the publication of the first G.O.T.H.S. essay, as we continue to reign for longer than a slowly increasing number of papacies, so suck on that, Leo VII.
Four years ago, and even as far back as like fifteen years ago, if you wrote stuff on the internet, there were easy ways that strangers could find it and share it with other people very quickly, and you could grow an audience that way. It seems like we're leaving that era, and I don't think I'm going to miss it very much. But as I've said many times before, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the audience I do have: thoughtful and funny and smart people who will go with me when I bring up weird books or stupid jokes, who will write to me to talk about other weird books or stupid jokes. In particular, “The Spooky God of Fancy Lads” and “Giving Bad People Good Ideas” were topics on which I had wanted to write for months, and to be able to finally get them done and share them with people I like and respect, and have it resonate with those people, was incredibly rewarding. So thank you, again, for being such wonderful readers: I never would have imagined at the start of this project that I'd get to connect over email (or over Twitter back when it was Twitter, or in extremely rare cases actually in person) with so many brilliant and lovely people. Picking up new readers is always a nice feeling, but if I don't pick up another reader ever again, I think that the readership I have is incredible and I'm thrilled that I get to share these things with you.
Below are the ten most read pieces from this year if you missed any of them. I have a couple of cool things I'm planning to write about in 2024, but until then, I hope you all have a restful and joyful Christmas. If you haven't read the Christmas 2020 essay yet, you should, because it is the best one.
-TG
Ten Most Read Pieces 2023
10) R.I.P. Pope Benedict XVI, author of 2019 "Porno on Airplanes" letter - this one is pretty self-explanatory
9) I Am Joining the FBI Specifically to Infiltrate Catholic Groups - this is also pretty self-explanatory
8) Giving Bad People Good Ideas - this one is about how we pick saints
7) Oh Yeah Alright Hell Yeah That’s Tight - this one is about going on strike
6) Like You Mean It - this one is about the church's best-kept secret no not that one
5) Yankee Hotel Foxtrot - this one is about the Illinois abuse report
4) Ass Onion - this one is about power and whether theologians are the best people to talk about it (they aren't)
3) The Strickland Investigation: What You Need to Know - this one is about the Grimace's Birthday promotion
2) Here Comes Nobody - this one is about all of the wonderful compassionate people that I'm sure will step up to lead the anti-abortion movement any minute now
1) EXCLUSIVE GUEST COLUMN: Why I Am Leaving the Catholic Church, by Joseph Strickland - this one is about the beauty of the world’s one true religion
