Robert Barron Announces New Edition of Word On Fire Bible
This is unrelated to any recent news stories.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Friends, I'm pleased to introduce a new publishing project from our apostolate. The New Word on Fire Bible is a groundbreaking new book introducing or re-introducing readers to the splendor of God's Word as well as supplemental materials to highlight the Christian roots of our own great country. Our launch of this Bible is unrelated to any other Bible product launches or recent news stories or our desire to defend our Bible market share against high-profile competitors, but even if it were about anything like that, I would remind people that I have been selling high-end Bibles for years and do not appreciate someone with higher name recognition suddenly trying to get in the game.
The New Word on Fire Bible was designed to appeal not just to Christians but to non-believers, searchers, and those with far more questions than answers. It doesn't presume any experience with the Bible, catering to those unfamiliar with its many events and characters, while still providing rich insights to even the most biblically literate.
It's a cathedral in print, the highest-quality Catholic or American Bible ever produced for mass distribution. Yet, it costs only $58.99, which is less than other special-edition Bibles on the market, and it has the extra Catholic books like Tobit or whatever, and also it costs less than the other Bibles I sell.
In our new Bible, you'll find God's Word surrounded by illuminating artwork and helpful commentary from Bishop Robert Barron (me), the Church Fathers, and some of the greatest saints, mystics, artists, and scholars throughout history - just going to go ahead and drop Robert Barron (me) right alongside those - allowing the story of Jesus Christ to shine with new clarity and splendor.
You'll discover insights from John Chrysostom, Augustine, Professor Jordan Peterson, John Henry Newman, G.K. Chesterton, Thérèse of Lisieux, Future Deacon Shia LaBeouf, Fulton Sheen, former star of MTV's I Used To Be Fat Joseph Gloor, pro-life activist Nick Fuentes, and many other teachers in the way of the Spirit.
The translation used in The New Word on Fire Bible is the New Revised Standard Version: Catholic Edition (NRSV-CE), which, weirdly, is not the translation actually used in Catholic Mass, and kind of makes you wonder if I had trouble getting the rights to that or something. All copies of The New Word on Fire Bible are printed in the United States; when I had advertised that previous editions were untouched by filthy Communist Ching Chong Chinese hands, that upset a lot of you, so I had to walk that comment back, and then walking it back upset a different lot of you, and I kind of feel like sometimes I can't win with you people and I just want to sell some damn Bibles.
As mentioned earlier, this Bible also contains new supplemental materials, an idea which I came up with independently. We have included the full text of the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, and the Pledge of Allegiance, all of which are in the public domain so I'm allowed to put them in my Bible and nobody can say I stole this idea from anybody else.
In the spirit of celebrating our American and Biblical dual heritage, we've also included song lyrics in The New Word on Fire Bible, an idea which, again, is something I came up with myself. That's why I'm pleased to announce that our Bible includes the full text of Ben Shapiro's rap verse on “FACTS”, the new single by conservative Canadian rapper Tom MacDonald, and the first song I could get the rights to on extremely short notice. Shapiro has been a friend of our apostolate for many years and I keep having him on my show and one time we took a cool album cover picture together with some other right-wing dipshits and I kind of felt like a rapper too.
Shapiro's bars are enlightening to any student of sacred scripture. When this four-foot-ten whiny webcast host spits “Homie, I'm epic, don't be a WAP/Dawg, it's a yarmulke, homie, no cap,” he speaks directly to the symbol of God's covenant with ancient Israel, leading directly to His covenant with the new Israel, our church. When Shapiro raps “Look at the graphs, look at my charts/You're blowing money on strippers and cars/You're going to prison, I'm on television/Dawg, no one knows who you are,” he speaks to one of the foundational beliefs of our nation, and of the American Catholic church: Blacks are vile and repulsive thugs who should all be in prison (in a way, this builds on my earlier, dare I say prophetic preaching). Finally, Shapiro concludes his verse with “All my people download this/Let's get a Billboard number one,” and for some reason I felt that begging people to buy your cash grab crap was very relatable.
Our founding fathers did a tremendous thing when they built America on Christian values. It is easy to feel like our nation has lost its way, and we have to bring Christianity back into our lives and back into what will be again a great nation. The New Word on Fire Bible promises to be key to saving both the church and our country; every American should have a Bible in their home, and specifically it should be this Bible I am a very serious bishop don’t buy the other Bible please buy my Bible.
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