FROM THE ARCHIVES, 2006: Michael Voris’ final column at G.O.T.H.S.
Revisiting an old favorite from an earlier era
Hi all - sorry I've been a little behind, I've been on the road for work and between that and raising two young children, there's never any downtime to write. So I don't have any new material for you here on G.O.T.H.S., but I want you to have something to read this week, so I figured I'd re-run this old movie review from 2006, the old G.O.T.H.S. Xanga era, when I was an undergrad Catholic blogger regularly bringing in guest writers from South Bend and surrounding areas. Here's a column from our longtime movie reviewer, Gary M. Voris, before he left the site to hang out his own shingle. -TG
THE DAVINCI CODE
2006, dir. Ron Howard
Review by Gary M. Voris
My faith has been shaken.
I never thought I'd write that sentence, I was never a man of strong faith. I, like millions of moviegoers, went to see The DaVinci Code merely expecting to enjoy the daring artistic vision of Ron Howard and the raw masculinity of Alfred Molina. But to see such a disrespectful treatment of Catholics, in such a wide-reaching and successful piece of mass media, has had me do some soul-searching as to my place in the wider ecosystem of Catholic media.
Now, it's been no secret that I've been impressed and inspired by the wonderful work that Tony and the team at G.O.T.H.S. have done, working out of their dorm rooms to put together an online space for Catholics that is reverent, respectful, and deferential to the holy Magisterium. But seeing The DaVinci Code has convinced me that this era calls for a new, more militant approach than G.O.T.H.S. can provide, and I want the DaVinci Code incident to be remembered as my heroic origin story. That’s why I’m using my usual G.O.T.H.S. movie review column this week to announce that I’m forming my own standalone media apostolate to guide Catholics in this new and uncertain area. The flagship organization of the new Saint Michael’s Media will be Real Catholic TV; using my experience in local news broadcasting, I am thrilled to create a new television presence that presents real news for real Catholics. The name, Real Catholic TV, should indicate how seriously we take our mission, and will hopefully soon become a household name, as it’s unimaginable that our local bishop would permanently bar us from using the word “Catholic” in our name or marketing materials. I’ve already set up the paperwork to incorporate us as a nonprofit, and we’re planning to be around for the long run, as long as I don’t repeatedly forget to file my annual tax paperwork and accidentally lose my nonprofit status for a multi-year stretch at any point in the future.
I want to report on all the big issues of the day - homopredators, anal sex, gay mafias, calling a black bishop “the African Queen” because I was told to dial back my original suggestion of a slightly modified Black Flag logo. Basically, I want to write about and condemn gay sex as much and as frequently as I possibly can, and it’s not important why. I really take the vision for this new media apostolate seriously: I want to be a trusted resource in Catholic media globally, the kind of organization that gets invited to World Youth Day and not kicked out for just showing up without any sort of prior approval from World Youth Day organizers, or the kind of organization that gets invited to speak at diocesan events across the country and recognized for not being anti-Semitic and in fact it never comes up that we have any sort of anti-Semitic views at all because why would that come up in any respectable media organization? We’re going to do the due diligence on our reporting - although, of course, we’ll always remember to pay for our defamation liability insurance, since that’s exactly the kind of thing that every real media organization should do to prevent potential financial ruin - and always make sure we’re drawing from the best, most reliable sources in Catholicism, as opposed to weird fedora-wearing canon lawyers who run into the woods when they get approached by a process server. Throughout what I hope is a decades-long career of respected and hard-hitting reporting, my hair will look normal the entire time.
I'm going to bring in the best people for this project. My friend and devout Catholic Simon Rafe tells me he already writes semi-professionally, which gives us a head start, as I assume he's been writing detailed works of systematic theology and not gay Star Wars fanfics or sexy roleplaying games. Christine Niles is coming with, too, and she's one of the sharpest legal minds I know. That also means that anything I tell her is privileged, even though she's not actually my attorney and in fact her bar license has been inactive for years, but I don't have any real reason to worry about that blowing up in my face, based on my understanding of the episodes of Boston Legal I put on when I wash dishes. Our staff will be made up of the most dedicated and devout Catholic reporters and journalists in the country, and none of them will ever learn what I look like with my shirt off when I keep uploading lewd selfies to the company Dropbox, and I know that sounds like an unusually specific thing to promise, but I have confidence that it's a promise I can keep. With a team like this, and with God for us, who can be against us?
In twenty years, this apostolate will be the most important, influential, and trusted outlet in Catholic media. In fact, it should take even less than twenty years, given the hunger for a media apostolate like this among regular Catholics. Now is the time to dream big, to set ambitious goals, so I'll set it right here: it will take less than twenty years for Saint Michael's Media to climb to the top of the world of Catholic media - the only thing that can stop us is an unbelievably long chain of incredibly incompetent decisions. 2024 will be our fifth presidential election cycle, and I think that will be the moment when everyone will realize just how far we've come, and how much a well-run, trustworthy media outlet can do in the service of their fellow Catholics. Yes, I'm predicting it right now: this website will be my enduring legacy, and 2024 will be my year.
