Applying the "She's The Man" Standard to Seminary Formation
Aspiring clergy should chew like they have a secret
I know that sometimes G.O.T.H.S. can be a very dense read, as we do detailed analyses of complex theological texts all of the time, and are about to dive into another one. I may not have the level of writing or analytical expertise that you can find at The Pillar, whose owners are, as I’ve argued before, certainly very professional and intelligent and definitely not bitter homophobic hacks with collapsing black holes where their souls are supposed to be. But I hope you’ll be able to follow along as I dissect another profound, multi-faceted work of systematic theology:
She’s The Man was a slapstick high school comedy from 2006, directed by Andy Fickman and starring Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum. A staple of the “high school adaptations of Shakespeare” genre, the plot is a loose riff on Twelfth Night and centers on a high school soccer star (Bynes) whose team is cut due to budget constraints at her school, and who decides to impersonate her brother at his elite boarding school to try out for the soccer team and get more playing time. A lot of the comedy early in the film comes from Amanda Bynes wearing a wig, putting on a tie, disguising her voice, and awkwardly adjusting her gait in order to pass as a boy. A lot of the comedy later in the film comes from Bynes being horny for her teammate (Tatum), who thinks she’s a guy, and who is entangled in a love triangle between her/him and another student, with a lot of gender-confusion hijinks happening as a result. Eventually, they all win the big soccer tournament and Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum end up together and everybody learns that the gender-based assumptions they made were way off base.
That may all look kind of dumb when it’s written out like that, but the film has aged surprisingly well, and high school comedies generally do not age well. Bynes is a really funny actress and can sell an incredibly silly premise. Tatum has a gift for comedic timing that larger audiences would see years later in 21 Jump Street. The movie won three extremely prestigious Teen Choice Awards, for “Choice Movie: Comedy”, “Choice Movie Actor: Breakout” for Tatum, and “Choice Movie: Liplock” for a kiss between Bynes and Tatum.
More importantly, though, She’s The Man is actually a really positive, kind-hearted movie about defying expectations, that’s pitched really well to teens. Shannon Carlin, writing on the 10th anniversary of the film, points out that:
“She's The Man is a feminist movie, but the word feminist is never uttered. It's a pro-gay movie that doesn't shudder at the idea that two men can have a close relationship, but does not address homosexuality outright. The movie seems to speak out against heteronormativity, but a decade ago, this wasn't a word thrown into general conversation. Instead, it refers to this concept through humor. "Inside every girl, there's a boy," a friend (Jonathan Sadowski) tells Viola as she nervously arrives at school for the first time as "Sebastian." The double entendre is good for a laugh, but there's also truth in the idea that gender is a social construct, not necessarily a biological one. We have to move beyond labels and expand our understanding of what it means to be male, female — or just plain human. We need to ditch the stereotypes, since there should be no limitations to how either gender acts or behaves. Good for She's The Man for engaging in this conversation a decade ago.”
It’s a kind of dumb but overall very pleasant movie about how limitations and constructs of gender are made up! That message, however, does not get the thumbs up from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. Bishop Jerome Listecki, chair of the Committee on Canonical Affairs and Church Governance, released a memo last week titled "Transgenderism and Seminary Formation," originally reported by Whispers in the Loggia and then picked up by National Catholic Reporter. You might be saying “hmmm, a statement from the USCCB on transgenderism, this is probably going to be fine and not infuriating!”, but you would be incorrect. Listecki wrote about “instances [plural!] where it had been discovered that a woman living under a transgendered identity” had been “unknowingly admitted” to seminary. Listecki added that “sacramental records had been fraudulently obtained to reflect her new identity. In all instances, nothing in these individuals' medical or psychological reports had signaled past treatments or pertinent surgeries,” and that “a bishop could consider requiring a DNA test or, at a minimum, certification from an expert of a bishop’s own choosing, to assure [possibly meant to be “ensure”] an applicant is male”.
Look: I was not expecting the USCCB to turn in a great memo here. The bishops’ views of gender and sexuality are medieval, and I’m not surprised that bishops are basically going “look, you need to actually stare at someone’s genitalia before you admit them to seminary”. The bishops have communicated, very consistently, that gay and transgender people are made wrong. It’s not a good message, and it’s not tempered by their stupid rhetorical dance of “no, you aren’t a bad person because of your orientation, you’re just fundamentally made the wrong way and have to fight against that every second of your life if you want to be a good Catholic”. For the bishops, gender is not a construct, it’s an unmutable biological reality, and this view leads bishops like Charles Thompson in Indianapolis - who forces queer students at Catholic schools into conversion therapy - or Thomas Paprocki in Springfield - who denies funerals to gay Catholics - to create diocesan policies that don’t seem to have any objective beyond cruelty.
Gender, of course, is not an unmutable biological reality, it’s a social construct. Do you know how I know that? Because the bishops couldn’t figure out when trans men were getting into seminary! “Of course only biological cisgender men can be priests; if transgender men tried to be priests, they’d be biologically unqualified and we’d catch it immediately” no you wouldn’t! You're saying that biological sex is so important to seminary formation, but if your institution is structured so that Amanda Bynes could walk in and do the literal plot of She's The Man at your seminary and it would take you months - months! - to notice that anything was off, you probably need to re-assess the importance you're placing on biological sex.
I'm joking, of course, we're talking about two very different scenarios. One scenario is a woman disguising as a man to play soccer, and after some hilarious mishaps, everyone walks away a little less judgmental and a little more compassionate than they were before. The other scenario involves trans men trying to answer their calling to the priesthood, and after what I have to assume were some hilarious mishaps, the men in charge adopted a new screening process that discriminates against some of the most marginalized people in the country, seems incredibly invasive, and in some cases might border on sexual assault. One of these is a movie for children, and the other is the stated policy of the supposedly learned and moral successors of the apostles. Maybe these guys should watch She's The Man sometime; they might even learn something from it.
Except, these guys did watch She's The Man when it came out. I know that because they published a review of it.
Yeah, that used to be one of the stranger duties of the USCCB, was putting out regular film reviews, with an eye towards advising parents on what movies were suitable for what age groups. This work is carried on now by Catholic News Service, who just reported that Dear Evan Hansen was a real mixed bag. But CNS also hosts all of the archives of the USCCB reviews, including their original 2006 review of She's The Man:
“Breezy if uneven modernizing of Shakespeare's comedy of mistaken identities, "Twelfth Night," about a teenage tomboy (Amanda Bynes) who poses as her twin brother (James Kirk), enrolls in his coed boarding prep school to play soccer, and winds up falling in love with his/her jock roommate (Channing Tatum), who has a crush on a pretty student (Laura Ramsey), who, in turn, is smitten with the new "guy," leading to predictable romantic complications. Director Andy Fickman cleverly updates Shakespeare's plot devices -- mixed-up lovers, triangular attractions, and gender-bending deception -- to mostly good effect, and the film overcomes forced humor in large measure due to Bynes' effervescence, though its occasionally crude comedy makes it best suited for older teens and up. Some sexual humor and innuendo, a bathroom brawl between three girls, brief implied nudity, sports roughness, a few crass expressions, as well as an instance of profanity.”
So, I think it's weird that parents need to be forewarned about “sports roughness", but otherwise this is a pretty accurate review: the film can be kind of dumb but overall very pleasant. Notably, the review does not include any panic about the film's ridiculing of old-fashioned gender politics, or of children being potentially exposed to the horror of a young woman defying those gender expectations and showing that those gender expectations, in fact, don’t have any basis in reality. I’m not going to pretend this is a mind-blowing movie that changed the world, but it is a movie with an affirming message about how rigid gender roles and expectations are not particularly helpful for anyone. Maybe the bishops can go back and revisit this kind of dumb but overall very pleasant film someday. Actually, “kind of dumb but overall very pleasant" is something the bishops can aspire to when it comes to their rhetoric around gender. This recent memo suggests that the bishops haven’t even made it to “any objective beyond cruelty” when it comes to that rhetoric. Hopefully, with prayer and discernment, with a little bit of time, and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the bishops can someday rise to the standard of openness and compassion set by a children's movie from fifteen years ago which includes a scene where Channing Tatum shoves a tampon up his nose.
Grift of the Holy Spirit is a series by Tony Ginocchio detailing stories of the weirdest, dumbest, and saddest members of the Catholic church. You can subscribe via Substack to get notified of new installments.